The Secret of Forgiveness
by DarkPixy15
Summary: Bella's dad has been beating and raping her for years. Her parents finally get fed up with her, and send her to live in Forks,WA. AH. Cannon pairings. BxJ eventually, BxE. suck at summaries. Please read. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

"Bella get up, it's the last day of school." my mom said from the doorway in her soft, comforting voice.

Dad, or, as I call him, The A-Hole, wishes I would die, and tells me so daily, all though, what he does at night tells me other wise. But, I've gotten used to it. I don't even scream anymore. I'm past the point of caring, and I pretty much let him, because he'll get his way anyway.

"Okay, Mom. I'll be downstairs when I'm ready.", I waited to hear her shut the door, and then threw the covers off, jumped out of bed, made it up quickly and neatly, making a mental not to myself to wash my sheets to get all of the blood off of them.

I crossed my room, and grabbed some clothes, and stepped into the shower. I washed my waist length, straight black hair, dried it, and applied eyeliner, dark gray eye shadow, and dark red lip gloss, black nail polish, and pulled on black skinny jeans, a pink tank top, and a black long sleeve tight fitting shirt that had four slashes in the front of it, pulled on my black vans, and walked downstairs.

Mom looked at me, but didn't say anything. I'd dressed like this since I was ten years old. Basically, I'd dressed like this for seven years. I only had one more year of high school left thankfully, and then I could leave.

I sat down, ate my waffles in silence, ignoring everything everyone at the table was saying. Once I was finished, I just sat at the table, and waited for Mom to take me to school. Dad was saying how much of a whore I was, and that he wished that I would leave now, instead of waiting a year. I pulled my razor out of my pocket, and sliced each of my arms twice, and put it back away.

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Bianca, Alice, and Shay walked up to me. Alice wasn't a student at our school; she was just visiting her Uncle, and cousin, who was Shay.

Bianca and Shay dressed like me, and Alice dressed like a complete girl. Wearing Coco Chanel, Gucci, Armani, and other brand name designers. She wasn't annoying though, and she didn't try to stop us from cutting ourselves, so she was alright.

Alice hugged me so hard that I couldn't breathe.

"This month has gone by way to fast, and I hope that you and Shay will come and visit soon!" I laughed, and nodded.

"Don't worry, we'll come visit as soon as possible, maybe even this summer, what do you say?"

She squealed, and clapped her hands London Tipton Style, and bounced back to her car, waving and honking as she sped out of the parking lot.

I sat in class, barely listening to the teachers talking while I drew a picture of myself, sitting in a forest with a little brook behind me. By the time it was lunch, I had completely finished it.

I showed Bianca and Shay, and they grabbed my notebook, and flipped through the entire thing, ooh'ing, and awing over each one. I rolled my eyes, and snatched it back, saying it wasn't that good, and they didn't need to make such a big deal out of it.

Shay playfully slapped my arm, and said, "If they're not that good, then why do you draw so much, hmm? Could you answer that for me please?"

Rolling my eyes again, I answered "There are a lot of people who like to draw, but completely suck at it, thank you very much. Plus, different people have different opinions, and I am entitled to mine."

"Well then, _someone's_ a bit cranky this morning." Bianca said.

"Yes, but, unlike you two, I have a reason to be cranky. You want to know what they are. My Dad thinks that I'm a whore, hits me all the time, wants me to die, and would screw me if he got the chance, oh, wait. I mean, _rapes _me every chance he gets. Oh yeah, and half the teachers have tried to screw me as well, so, unless you can come up with something worse than that, don't even talk about how _cranky_ I am, got it, Bianca? Good." I got up, dumped my hardly touched tray of food, and stalked out of the cafeteria, and drove home, not caring that the school would call home and tell Mom that I'd skipped again.

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"Dammit, Bella! Why do you do this? I really don't wanna tell your father, but this has got to stop! This is the twentieth time you've skipped school in the past two months! What do you want to change? Is it something I'm doing?" Mom was standing in my doorway, yelling at me.

"You know what I want to change Mom, but your love for me doesn't stretch that far, and for all I care, go ahead and tell Dad! I mean, whether you tell him or not, I'm still gonna pay for it tonight anyway!" she walked over to me, and slapped me across the face.

"Stop lying! You're so much of a god damn liar; your father doesn't rape you! Why do you hate him so much? All he does is tell you that he doesn't like the way you dress, and, quite frankly, I don't either, it really does make you look like a whore, all that dark make up you wear. I, you know what, I'm asking you're father what he wants to do with you, because I don't have anymore ideas." And she walked out of my room, shaking her head, and slamming the door.

I turned one my iPod, and played Down With the Sickness by Disturbed, I mouthed along with the words, thinking that it was the best song to play at a time like this, when your parents hate you.

Can you feel that?

Ah shit!

ooh ah ah ah ah

ohhh ah ah ah ah

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing,

Broken your servant I kneel

(will you give in to me?)

It seems what's left of my human side is slowly changing in me

(will you give in to me?)

Looking at my own reflection

When suddenly it changes

Violently it changes

There is no turning back now,

you've woken up the demon in me.

[Chorus]

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Open up your hate and let it flow into me.

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness

You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness

Madness is the gift that has been given to me.

I can see inside you the sickness is rising

Don't try to deny what you feel.

(will you give in to me?)

It seems that all that was good has died

and is decaying in me.

(will you give in to me?)

It seems you're having some trouble

In dealing with these changes

Living with these changes.

Oh, no. The world is a scary place

Now that you've woken up the demon in me.

Chorus

And when I dream

And when I dream

And when I dream

And when I dream

No mommy, don't do it again

Don't do it again

I'll be a good boy

I'll be a good boy, I promise

No mommy don't hit me

Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?

Don't do it, you're hurting me

Why did you have to be such a bitch

Why don't you,

Why don't you fuck off and die

Why can't you just fuck off and die

Why can't you just leave here and die

Never stick your hand in my face again bitch

FUCK YOU

I don't need this shit

You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore

How would you like to see how it feels mommy

Here it comes, get ready to die

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Open up your hate and let it flow into me.

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness

You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness

Madness has now come over me!

When I turned off my iPod, I went in to my bathroom, and dried the dried tears off my face, and dried blood off of my arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! I got a ton of story alerts, but I only got one review! Can I get at least five reviews this time? I'll update faster, and I forgot the disclaimer last time, my bad!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own any of the original Twilight characters, SM does, sadly. **

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"Bella! Get your ass down here, now!"

"Coming!" I rolled my eyes, turned off the radio and light, shut the door, and took my sweet time walking down stairs.

"Alright, now, even though your punishment should be worse, your mother didn't agree with mine, so you're going to live with your Uncle Matt, and you'll finish out high school, and then we'll see about you coming home before college."

"Why can't I just stay here, I'll actually go to school, I promise."

My Uncle Matt lived in Forks, Washington, and it rained all the time there. I didn't mind the rain, or the cold. It was just such a god damn small town, and I hated small towns. People that lived there were always really country.

Charlie, my dad, got up, and walked over to me, standing over me. I pursed my lips, and looked up at him, crossing my arms over my chest so he couldn't see anything. He still tried, but didn't succeed.

"You're going, young lady, and that's final. I don't care what you promise us anymore. I'm not falling for any of your bullshit lies anymore. And change your shirt, fucking slut." Dad slapped my face, and grabbed my arm, pulling me upstairs with him.

Mom was watching and smiling, and then followed us up there.

Dad flung the door to my room open, and ripped my shirt off, and threw it on the floor. He walked to my closet, and started throwing clothes out of it, then; he came out with a plain black t-shirt, and threw it at me, telling me to put the shirt on. Then about twenty seconds after that, he grabbed it out of my hands, and pushed me back onto the bed, and got on top of me. Kissing me forcefully. He went on, and on. I hated him so much, but, I wasn't going to show him that I was in pain, or scared. He was like a dog, he'd sense it. Mom walked in, and shut and locked the door behind her. She leaned against it with her arms crossed. I glared at her, wishing I could stab her to death.

When he was satisfied, he started slapping me in the face, punching me, and then he threw me off the bed and across the room so that I slammed into the wall. I screamed, unable to hold it in any longer, and it raised in pitch when he kicked me in the most sensitive place for a girl, over and over. I cowered in the corner, waiting for him to stop.

"Are you gonna go yet? I can go on all night if you want." Charlie screamed in my face, and then threw my clothes at me and said, "Start packing, your plane leaves at noon tomorrow." And my two tormentors walked out of my room, shutting the door behind them.

I pulled my razor blade out of my jean pocket, and ran into the bathroom with a clean set of clothes in my hands. I turned on the water, and while I was waiting for it to warm up, I sliced my wrists and ankles multiple times, savoring the pain, and leaning against the wall, sighing.

I got out of the shower, freshly cleaned, and, considering my state, considerably happy. I pulled on the extra short bright red pajama shorts, and black tank top, with little red hearts all over it on, and went into my room to start packing.

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It was nine thirty the next morning by the time I was completely packed. All my books, clothes, shoes, razors, band aids, and gauze were all in their bags, and sitting by the door. My room looked oddly empty, even though the bed and desk were still there, just without the laptop, sheets, and everything. I sighed, and walked downstairs, slowly.

"Finished." Thankfully, Mom was the only one in the room, and she turned and looked at me, well, more like sneered at me.

"Good, now go shower again, and don't look like such a goddamn slut when you get dressed, we're going out to eat before you leave. Don't ask me why, it was your father's idea."

I didn't say anything; I just went back upstairs, and showered, washing my hair once again, and not putting on half my makeup, thinking I would put it on in the airport after they left.

I pulled on light wash jeans, a white laced tank top and a red low cut v-neck long sleeved shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking I looked like a prep, with my bangs pulled back so that they were in a little puff at the front of my head. I was cute, I just looked weird, and not like me. I shrugged, slipped on my vans, and put all my other things in my bags, and went back downstairs to see if Mom approved of my clothing.

"Wow. You look . . . Cute." She raised her eyebrows and smiled tentatively.

I snorted, "Whatever. I don't care what you think. What about my treadmill? How am I supposed to take that?"

"I'll ship it to you Isabella. And get over what happened last night, god. It's un lady like to hold a grudge, sweetie." She walked up to me, and put her hands on my shoulders.

I slapped them away, "My name is Bella, and never call me sweetie, and like you can talk about being a lady. A lady wouldn't stand there and watch her husband rape her only daughter." I turned around, and went out back, grabbing one of my books I'd had downstairs, and laid in the hammock, waiting to leave.

Fifteen minutes later, Mom yelled out the door to put all my bags in my car, so that when we got back, I could drive myself to the airport. I'd forgotten that they were going to sell my car once I left.

I ran upstairs, put the book, my notebook, drawing pad, and iPod in my carry on bag, along with some sharpies, and pencils. I lugged them downstairs, and put them in the back seat. I got into the back of Mom and Dad's car with my brother, Tristan.

Mom, Dad, and Tristan were all talking. I just stared out the window ignoring them. When we stopped, I got out followed them inside, and sat down, not saying a word.

When the waiter came to take out order, I told him, and then went back to my silence. Mom looked at me, and said, "Oh, come on Isabella, will you please not be so sullen to everyone the day you leave? Just talk to us, at least to Tristan."

I shrugged, and said to myself, I _am_ going to miss Tristan, he's the only decent one in this family. I answered everything that Tristan said to me, and when we got to the airport, me following them, I hugged Tristan, and kissed his cheek, telling him that I would call his cell when I got there.

I didn't say anything to my parents, just pulled all my bags, which was about fifteen, and my carry on, up to the counter, weighed in all my bags, showed them my ticket, and hugged Tristan once more, tighter this time, and then boarded my plane, never saying a word to my parents.

I hope Uncle Matt likes me, and doesn't beat me all the time. Once I boarded the plane, I decided to take a vow if silence until I got to college, but then I remembered that I was supposed to call Tristan. I decided I would tell him that, and then I could email him after that. I vowed that once I called Tristan, I wouldn't talk until college.

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**Hey guys, hope you like this chapter. Please give me at least five reviews, and I can update faster. Any kind will do. You can even flame me, just don't be too harsh, this is my first one. You guys are so awesome!! **

**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ DarkPixy15 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~**


	3. Chapter 3

I got off the plane, and sat down on a bench near the baggage claim, waiting to see Uncle Matt. I turned my iPod back on, and looked at everyone in the crowd, and didn't see him anywhere. I bit my lip, and hoped he hadn't forgotten me, or that Mom and Dad had told him that they'd changed they're minds.

Knowing them, they would think that that was hilariously funny. I pulled my drawing pad out of my carry on, and a pencil, and starting drawing the baggage claim room without anyone inside it.

I finished it, and when I looked up, there was hardly anyone left, and I ran up to get all my bags, which were basically the only ones left on it. I lugged them back to my chair one by one, and then sat down with them. I looked at all the people in there once more, and still didn't see him.

I started drawing all my bags against a white background, and drew all of the little stars that were all over them. I drew my vans by themselves, and by that time, the next flight had landed, and more people were coming in.

I once again looked at everyone I could see, and didn't see him, I shrugged, sighed, and put my drawing pad away, and pulled out my notebook. I started writing a song and I titled it: Are You For Real.

Are you for real,

And do you really feel what I feel?

I fear this is all fake, and

that I'm not really awake.

Are you really real,

And do you feel how I feel,

When I think of you,

And all of the hope,

That shines,

In your,

bright green eyes.

I hadn't gotten very far when I felt a tap on the back of my head. I looked up and screamed quietly, "Uncle Matt! You're two and a half hours late! Where were you?" hugging him as I said so.

He laughed, and answered as I pulled away, "Renee and Charlie said that your flight arrived just five minutes ago.", and he raised his eyebrows at me.

He didn't know about Mom and Dad beating me and raping me, and I had no intention of telling him.

"Oh, maybe they accidentally told you the wrong time or something. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I got in several drawings, and started writing a song.", and we were walking out of the airport, each carrying six or seven bags.

"I didn't know you drew! Let me see them once we get in the car. I draw too; I'll show you a few of them when we get home if you want."

"I'd love that! What kind of things do you draw?" I could tell that I would really get along with Uncle Matt, and he seemed genuinely nice, which was a real shock, considering who he was related too.

We talked music, movies, books, and drawings all the way home, which was about two hours from Port Angeles, where the airport was, to Forks. There was hardly a silent moment in the car. It turned out we watched the same movies, listened to the same music, and read the same books.

Uncle Matt was really tall, and was going bald, but it didn't make him look older, he just had a receding hair line. When we got home, he helped me get my bags upstairs, and left me to unpack.

I sat down on my bed, and looked out the window, which, surprise, surprise, was streaked with rain drops making intricate designs on the glass, some avoiding going down a previous ones path, others always turning in different directions, like they were zigzagging back and forth to run from something, or seeing how long they could stay on the glass with out falling to the puddles of mud and water feet below.

I sighed, got up, and lifted my biggest bag off the floor onto the bed, and pulled my sheets out of it. I made my bed, put the comforter on, and pulled my laptop out, and set it up, and opened iTunes, and selected my favorite playlist, titled Silent but Deadly. It had a bunch of songs that were quiet, but had the same kind of lyrics a heavy metal song would.

I opened the dresser drawer, and started putting my jeans inside, with skinny on the left, and regular in the middle, and flared on the right. Then, I eventually filled up the whole dresser with all of my jeans, and one drawer had my jeans and underwear. Then, I opened the walk-in closet, and started hanging up my hundreds of shirts, and put my shoes on the shelves.

I put all my books up on the book shelves, and my cds on the case that I'd brought with me, but only because it folded up. All of my movies went on the bottom shelf of my bookshelf, and all the hundreds of ones that I'd burned went in my closet in the big black case on the only open shelf left. All that I had to do now was set up my bathroom stuff in the only bathroom in the house that had a shower. I hope my uncle won't mind.

When I looked at the clock, it was ten thirty, so I went downstairs, and he was watching NASCAR. I rolled my eyes, and said, "So, um, did you already eat dinner?"

He jumped slightly, and said, "Oh, no. I was waiting for you, Bella. What would you like as your welcome meal? I'll make anything." and he turned off the TV, and motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen.

I didn't want to give him something complicated to make, so I said, "How about spaghetti?"

"Of course, angel girl." and he started boiling water, and making sauce, while he was waiting for the water to boil, he said, "Oh! Do you still want to see those drawings of mine?"

"Yes, please."

"Alright, be right back." And he jogged out of the kitchen, and upstairs. I guessed he was going into his room, but about a minute later, he came back in, carrying about seventeen notebooks like mine.

He set them on the table, and said, "Those are in order from the first time I ever drew something, to the one I just did last night."

I nodded and flipped through them all, finishing just as dinner was ready, and while he was setting the table, I told him that I would show him all of mine after dinner.

We didn't talk as much over dinner, we were busy eating, but when we finished, I ran upstairs and pulled all of my notebooks off the book shelf, which was completely empty now, and it was about two feet wide. I draw a lot, okay?

I walked very slowly downstairs, and set them down on the table, "Here's every single drawing I've ever done that I had any liking for, and there's a lot, so be prepared to be here for a while."

I sat with him while he flipped through them all, and answered any questions he had. He didn't have many though. I'd written what day it was, what time it was, and what had inspired me to draw each one, which was mostly nature stuff, or buildings.

When he finished, he said, "Bella. You are amazing. You should really try to develop this as much as you can, you could make money off of these. I mean, if you wanted to."

"Yeah, I think that that would be awesome." And I yawned, "I'd better get to bed, it's twelve o'clock, and I've got to buy all my school stuff tomorrow. 'Night, Uncle Matt."

"G'Night, Bella. Sleep well." We hugged each other good night, and went upstairs to our separate rooms.

I changed into my pajamas, and snuggled deep into the covers, and fell asleep right away, and then all of a sudden, I was home again, and Dad was about to throw me down the stairs because I'd run away, and I was completely naked because he'd just raped me once again. Even though I wasn't willing, I wasn't fighting him either; I was sort of just lying there, passively. I convulsed violently, and then he just stopped, and started shaking me, yelling my name, and saying that I needed to wake up, that I was alright, and everything was fine.

I opened my eyes, and saw Uncle Matt looking down at me, panic in his eyes, and his hands were the ones shaking me. I cringed away from him, scared the he would hurt me for some reason.

Uncle Matt looked hurt, but didn't say anything, and I was busy sobbing, and writhing from the realness of the pain in the nightmare.

He looked at me, and said, "What did your parents do to you to make you dream like that?"

I couldn't speak, so I got up, and pulled a notebook off the shelf, turned it to a new page, and wrote that Dad had raped and beaten me for eleven years.

He didn't move toward me, he just opened his arms to me, and I gladly went to him and hugged myself, while he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I wish I'd known. I would have made you move out here myself."

"Its okay, nobody knew, except Tristan, and a couple of my friends but they were too scared to tell anybody."

"Oh, honey, you should have told people, they would have helped you. In fact, we're going to get you to stop that little cutting problem you've got. Yes, I noticed it the second I saw you."

"Okay. Can I try to sleep now?"

"Yes sweetheart. Tell me how you slept in the morning." He walked out, and shut the door behind him. I turned off the lamp, and went back to sleep, dreamlessly this time.

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Uncle Matt and I were walking down the aisles in the super market, buying school supplies for me, and he even bought me some new skinny jeans, shirts, shoes, and nail polish, makeup, movies, cds, and some new empty cds and DVDs.

"Is there anything else that you want, Bella?"

"Umm, there was a book back there that I wanted, but I'll go and get that, you go ahead and start checking out, I'll catch up to you."

"Okay."

I walked back to the books, and found the one I wanted. I backed up, and ran into a very large man. I turned around to apologize, but when I did, he caught me, because I'd tripped over my own feet. I looked up into a pair of the most beautiful brown eyes I'd ever seen.

"Sorry. I'm so clumsy sometimes. I'm Bella Swan."

"You're Matt Swan's niece? I heard you were coming to live here. I'm Jacob, and don't worry about it, alright?"

"I am, and, again, I'm so sorry." I smiled.

"Hey, it's alright. So, if you don't mind my asking, why didn't you're parents move out here with you?"

"They didn't want me, and I'm scared to leave my brother Tristan alone with them because – Oh no! I never called him. He must be so worried about me!" and I said sorry to Jacob, and pulled out my cell phone, and called him, explaining everything.

I told him how he was late, and that I'd just now remembered.

"Oh and Tristan, I'm going to take a vow of silence until college, so, um; I'll just be emailing you from now on, okay? I love you." And I hung up before he could say anything.

I explained everything to Uncle Matt, and, he surprisingly understood. When I got home, we carried on a silent on my part conversation. Being silent is kind of fun and it'll probably be easy since I don't talk too much anyway.

While we were eating dinner, the phone rang. Uncle Matt jumped up to get it, and I heard him saying that I wasn't talking anymore, but that he'd tell me that someone had called for me. He walked back in, and said, "Jacob Black, from the store just called, he wants to talk to you again.

**(A/N: Anything in italics is going to be Bella writing something that she normally would say out loud.)**

Jacob came over twenty minutes later.

_Hey Jacob, what's up? Um, not to be rude, but is there a specific reason that you wanted to see me again? _I looked up at him, and smiled.

He shrugged, "I like you, and you seem really nice. I just wanted to get to know you." He was a hand talker. He moved his hands with pretty much every word he said.

_Aww, thanks. I like you too! So um, how are we going to do this? Do you wanna just ask me anything, and I'll write my answer down, or what?_

"Yeah, and I'm gonna start with, um, Why did you have to move out here in the first place? Did you want to?"

_No. Mom and Dad hated me, and Dad was beating me and raping me. He had been for eleven years. I'm seventeen by the way. And I moved here from Phoenix, AZ_

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry. Moving on to happier subject, what kind of music do you listen to?"

_Most kinds, Screamo, Heavy Metal, Rock, Hard Rock, Classic Rock, Country, Pop, Rap, and eighties and nineties type music. You?_

He raised his eyebrows as he was reading, and then looked up, shaking his head, "Same. Movies?"

_Comedy, Horror, Drama, Romance. Favorite movie ever is either __Blood and Chocolate__, which is about a girl who transforms in to a wolf, and she meets a human guy she likes, but her wolf cousins don't approve of a human boyfriend. Or, __Little Miss Sunshine__, which is about a little girl who gets accepted into the Little Miss Sunshine beauty pageant, and her whole family gets on this bus and drives all the way to California to get her there._

"Huh. That's cool. I like the movie Blood and Chocolate, but Little Miss Sunshine sounds a little stupid."

_Come on._ I got and went up stairs, motioning for him to follow me. I walked into my room, and pulled out Little Miss Sunshine.

I put it into me laptops DVD player, and sat on my bed, patting the spot beside me. He sat down, rolling his eyes.

"So, did you take the idea of a vow of silence from this movie?"

_Sort of. This and the fact that I hate my parents._

"Ah. Well, now that you're away from them, maybe you should try to forget them. You can't dwell on it, or you can never live happily."

_Jake! That was deep, I'm impressed. Did you take that from a movie?_

"No, I took it from a semi personal experience." With that, he leaned forward, and kissed me. I put my hand on the back of his head, holding it close to my face, and the other rested on his bicep. He had one hand on the small of my back, and the other rested on my upper thigh.

We lay back on the bed, and he was suddenly on top of me, his hands resting on the bed at either side of my head. Even though I was enjoying this, all of a sudden Jacob was my father, and he was raping me once again.

I slid out from under him, and backed up against the far wall, my hands over my mouth so that I wouldn't start talking. Tears were welling up in my eyes, because I didn't know if I could ever get into a relationship because of my father.

I picked up my writing pad, and told Jake that I was so sorry, but that this was too fast for me, and that I would try to make it work, but, I couldn't move this fast considering my father.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm gonna go home now, and I'll talk to you later. Bye." He walked out of my room, shaking his head. I wanted to scream. I hated my father; I couldn't properly love anyone this way. I lay face down in my bed, and pressed the pillow to my face, to muffle the sobs that were threatening to become louder. I beat the bed, and threw one of the pillows across the room, wishing that it were my father.


	4. Chapter 4

Uncle Matt made me eggs for breakfast, and was really nice to me. I pulled my pad out, and wrote:

_I'm going to the park so that I can run. I'm still waiting for my treadmill to get here. I'll be back later._

I looked up at him, and he nodded, saying that that was fine.

I loved the burn in my calves that I got every time I ran. I saw several people, and nodded at them. I saw a group of really pale kids walking, one of them stood out to me. He had golden bronze hair, and wasn't huge like the other two guys. Well, only one of them was huge, but the other was medium sized. The bronze haired one was smaller than the other two, and he didn't seem to be talking too much.

There was one girl who was really small, and was probably the most hyper of all of them put together. She was bouncing when she walked, and was a lot shorter than all the others. She was holding hands with the medium sized one, who had blonde hair. The big one had curly brown hair, and was holding hands with a tall blonde girl. The bronze haired boy didn't have anyone. I felt bad for him. He was sort of apart from the others. Suddenly, he looked up, and was literally glaring at me. I looked down, and ran faster to pass them.

I didn't even know him, how could he hate me? I slowed to a walk, and picked Everytime by Britney Spears on my iPod.

_Notice me,_

_Take my hand._

_Why are we, strangers when_

_Our love is strong, why carry on without me._

_Everytime I try to fly I fall_

_Without my wings I feel so small_

_I guess I need you baby._

_Everytime I see you in my dreams,_

_I see your face it's haunting me._

_I guess I need you baby._

_I make believe,_

_That you are here_

_It's the only way I see clear._

_What have I done, you seem to move on easy._

_Everytime I try to fly I fall _

_Without my wings_

_I feel so small,_

_I guess I need you baby._

_Everytime I see you in my dreams_

_I see your face, it's haunting me._

_I guess I need you baby._

_I may have made it rain, please forgive._

_My weakness caused you pain, _

_And this song's my sorry._

_At night I pray _

_That soon your face will fade away._

_Everytime I try to fly I fall_

_Without my wings_

_I feel so small_

_I guess I need you baby._

_Everytime I see you in my dreams,_

_I see your face, it's haunting me._

_I guess I need you baby._

I felt a single tear slide down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away before anyone could see.

I jogged home, and got in the shower, savoring the hot water washing everything away from me, and I imagined that it was washing away all me problems from home away as well. I got out, and dried my hair, thankful it was naturally straight.

*******************************************************************************

I sat on my bed, and just laid there; thinking about the boy in the park, wondering what could make him hate me so much. I didn't even know his name, much less what I could've done to get him so pissed off at me. Oh well, I shouldn't let it bother me. It's not like he'll ever talk to me anyway.

I got up, and walked into my closet, and looked around for the shelf with my DVD's on it, and pulled out my favorite movie ever, _Princess Bride_. I climbed into bed, pulled the covers up to my nose, turned onto my side, turned on my laptop, put the DVD in, and pressed play.

I fell asleep before they could even get to the part where she meets Wesley again, and when I woke up again, it was daylight, but just barely.

I could smell hamburgers, and jumped up, and ran downstairs, and looked around for Uncle Matt, hoping to find him soon. I was hungry, I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving.

"Well, good evening, beautiful. Did you sleep well? Someone came to see you, but I told him you were sleeping." he smiled, and handed a burger on a bun, and gestured to the condiments.

I put mayo, ketchup, mustard, onions, and lettuce on it, and squished it, so I could fit my mouth around it. Uncle matt saw me, and started laughing. I stuck my tongue out at him, and pulled out my notebook.

_Who came to see me?_

"Jacob? You know him?

_Yeah, I ran into him (literally) at the store the other day when we were there._

"Oh, okay. I'll call him and tell him he can come back over, is that okay?"

I nodded, and ran upstairs and changed into some tight jeans that were sort of flared at the bottom, but not really. I put on a bright pink tank top, and pulled on my yellow low cut v-neck t-shirt, that had a pink, purple, and red diamond on it, and said Volcom at the bottom in black. I checked my self in the mirror, and decided to pull my hair up into a pony tail with my bangs still down, and put on a little make up, and slipped on some hot pink vans, checked myself in the mirror, and decided I looked good, and walked downstairs, carrying my notebook and a pen, and plopped myself down in to living room to watch TV while I waited for Jacob.

Uncle Matt came in, and said that he'd explained everything to Jacob over the phone, and said that Jacob still wanted to see me. He could live with my silence, as long as I would still 'talk' to him.

I wrote down a thank you to him, and changed the channel to Lifetime Movie Network, and saw that one of my favorite movies was on. I turned it on, and twenty minutes later, someone said, "Really? You're watching August Rush? Why something so sad? I mean, you already can't talk, so, I would think that you'd want to watch happy stuff, but apparently not." I looked up to see Jacob, and I smiled and waved at him.

He looked even better than before. I sighed silently, and in my head. I couldn't believe that this god wanted tot talk to me. He held his arms open, and I gladly ran to them, and jumped up in his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. I couldn't believe that I was doing this to a guy that I hardly knew, but that didn't stop me. He hugged me back, and it seemed like he never wanted to let go, and I certainly didn't want him to.

Uncle Matt walked in, and started laughing uncontrollably, at my face, presumably, and I stuck my tongue out at him once again. I un-wrapped my legs from Jacob, and wrote on my pad.

_Hi! How are you! Gosh, I'm so glad to see you, I mean, I know it's only been a couple days, but, still, it feels like forever!_

He laughed when he read it, "Hey, I'm good. I would hope you were glad to see me; I'd hate to see what you did to someone if you really did want to see them. I feel the same way. So, do you wanna go for coffee or dinner or something?" he looked at me hopefully.

I nodded, and said, _Dinner would be fun, I already ate a burger, so I'll just eat something small, but yeah, I'll totally go with you._

"Great, let's go."

We jumped into his car, and off we went, to more than just dinner apparently.

*******************************************************************************

**Hey, sorry this one's so short, and that I added a cliffy, I sort of got blocked, oh, and Uncle Matt and Uncle Kevin are the same person, I decided to change the name, so if you see any Uncle Kevin's in there, it's supposed to be Uncle Matt. Anyway, love you guys! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry about the confusion that happened, but I think I've got it fixed. I just deleted all the extra chapters, and I'll make sure I post the right chapter now. Oh, by the way, a really good fanfic that you guys should read is **_**Changes**_** by **_**ifyougetedwardigetemmet.**_** It's really good. Here's the summary:**

Edward left Bella. Eight months later, the cullens don't come home to shy, kluzty Bella, but to overonfident, popular emo Bella. With Charlie dead, no one can set Bella back on track...right?

**Anyways, this A/N's getting pretty long, so check out the story if you think it sounds good, and on with the story.**

_Bella's handwriting is in italics._

_**Edward's is in both.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't Twilight, Just Uncle Matt, and possible future characters.**

*******************************************************************************

Jacob took me to this club type thing where he lives on the rez, and all his friends were there, and they were all gigantic, just like him. I smiled at them all, and silently greeted them. A couple didn't understand why I was taking a vow of silence, and, honestly, I didn't really either, I just needed a while to think, I guess is why I did it.

We danced, ate, and then decided to go to a movie, and after that, we walked around the park a couple times, me texting him so that he could know what I thought about what he was saying. By the time we got home, it was almost four thirty in the morning. Uncle Matt was asleep already, obviously, but there was a note on the fridge for me, telling me that I should call him at work when I got up tomorrow. But then it was scratched out, and under he'd written, just come by and talk to me, if you feel up to it. If you don't, then email me.

Before I went inside, Jacob kissed my cheek, and hugged me lightly. I waved, and went up to my room, and changed into my pajamas.

I walked into school, and everyone stared at me. I hated it when people stared. I was clumsy, and I was plain looking, and I'm very self conscious. There was one blonde girl who automatically started talking about me the second she saw me, and I immediately disliked her.

She looked like one of those girls who think that all the guys want her, but they really don't.

It turned out I was correct.

While I was getting a few things out of my locker, I could see her out of the corner out of my eye, and she was all over every guy that walked by, it didn't matter if one of their girlfriends were there or not. Of course, I could also see everyone that walked by looking at me, and I looked down, to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, and I thought I looked fine.

I was wearing black leather extra skinny jeans, a black long sleeved, tight fitting shirt that had red splatters all over it, and back vans, and my hair was in my face as usual. I looked basically the same as I did every day. I shook my head, and stalked off to class. I got all my teachers to sign the slip, and managed to get by all day without being talked to directly, which was good. I didn't have to try to explain the whole silence thing. And then I got to my last period, and the teacher specifically asked me the very first question. It wasn't like I didn't know the answer; I just couldn't say it, for obvious reasons. I should have asked Uncle Matt to explain about the whole silence thing. I would ask him to do that tonight.

When I shook my head, there were snickers from half the class, and Mr. Barber **(I don't remember which teacher taught what, so I'm just gonna make up names.)** shushed them.

I waved for him to come to my desk, and I told him that I wasn't talking anymore, and he told me that he'd expect me to talk by next week in class, and went on with teaching the lesson.

About five minutes into that, that really pale boy that I'd seen in the park walked in, and Mr. Barber said, "How nice of you to join us, Mr. Cullen. You're seat is by Bella." Then he looked at me, and said, "I'm so sorry Bella, that was the only spot open." And he actually looked like he felt sorry for me.

I wondered what could be so bad about this Cullen kid, but I was about to find out.

_Why doesn't Mr. Barber like you?_ I slid the piece of paper over, and felt ashamed of my chicken scratch handwriting when I saw his response.

_**Why the fuck do you want to know, bitch?**_

I huffed, and picked up my pen.

_Well, fuck you too. Damn, you don't have to be so touchy. I don't want to be here any more than you do, you know._

When I slid the paper back, I purposely let him see the scars on my arm, because I'd seen his when he sat down.

When he saw them, his eyebrows shot up, and it took all I had not to laugh at him, which would have pissed Mr. Barber, him, and me off. I little giggle escaped, but I managed to disguise it with a cough, and he smirked.

_**Just 'coz you do the same thing I do doesn't mean I'm gonna be nicer to you than every body else. And don't think cussing around me is gonna make me like you any better.**_

_Do you talk to people though?_

_**Sometimes. Again, why the fuck do you care?**_

_Well, see, that's where we differ. I don't even talk to people, so you're nicer than me._

_**Stop trying to impress me. It's not gonna work.**_

I crumpled up the paper, and threw it into the trashcan. I could see his shoulders shaking with laughter, and I just wanted to punch his face in.

"Edward Cullen! What is the answer to the question?"

"Oh, um, fucking, or as my parents put it, wrestling naked, whichever you prefer." Edward, I guess was his name, waved his hand, and started scribbling down something on the paper.

I didn't pay too much attention to him, but, when I looked down to add to my notes, I saw a page with Edward's handwriting on it.

_**Sorry I made you mad. Well, not really, it was fun, but, anyway, why don't you talk?**_

_Why the fuck do you wanna know?_

He chuckled, and said,_** I guess I deserved that. I don't know. Don't think I won't forget about this by tomorrow. The bell's about to ring.**_

_You might not forget, but who says I'm even showing up tomorrow, much less that I even care about anything you have to say._

I slid the paper over, and started gathering my things back up, and was out the door the second the bell rang, and already out of the parking lot by the time Edward was even out of the building. He stood, gaping at the car, I smirked, and turned up the radio.

When I got home, I did all my homework, and did any extra stuff that needed to be done, and then I went for a jog again. I pulled on some short, black Sophie's, and a red sports running bra, my black and red tennis shoes, left a note for my uncle, grabbed my cell phone, and ran out of the house.

By the time I got to the park, I was already really sweaty, but I didn't really care. At least I was in shape.

While I was running, surprise, surprise, I saw Edward and his family. Once again, Edward was the only one not holding anybody's hand, and for some reason, I wanted to be the one that held his hand. Then I shook my head, and ran past them, not acknowledging him when he waved at me.

I took a shower when I got home, and then I looked at the calendar, and realized that my birthday was in three days. My eyes widened. I got on the computer, and checked my email.

There was tons of email from everyone that I knew, and they all had to do with my birthday. One was from Dad, and there was a picture of us on the bed. I gagged when I saw how much blood there was, and how many bruises I had, especially down there. Under the picture, it said, "Bella, I really miss our special nights we always had. I'm sending you the money I owe you for all those nights, you little whore. In fact, I miss you so much; I'll come visit you tomorrow. You can't get away either. You're Uncle Matt's going fishing, and he's going to ask you to stay at home. And you'll listen to him, or you're going to pay doubly when you come to visit us."

I stared at the picture, and sat there, crying my eyes out. Dad was coming home tomorrow. I had thought that I would be away from him forever. Without thinking, I pulled out my knife, and sliced my wrist. I couldn't take thinking about it anymore.

**Edward POV**

I hated walking with my family, but Carlisle and Esmé force me to go with them. Walking is so fucking gay.

As Rosalie's hand accidentally brushed mine, I moved even farther away from them, and shoved my hand into my pocket, and stared at my shoes.

"Edward, move!" I looked up in time, and saw Bella. My eyes widened. She was wearing some really short, black shorts, a bright red sports bra, and her hair was back. She was absolutely gorgeous. Wait where did that come from? I swallowed, and tried not to think about her, although that probably won't happen.__

**Okay guys. I'm really sorry this is so short, but, I kind of have writers block, suggestions?**

**Love you guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**BELLA POV**

I checked my phone as soon as I woke up, and there was a call from some unknown number. I texted Jacob, and asked him to come over, it was important. Uncle Matt had gone fishing.

He was there twenty minutes later, and I showed him the number, asking him to call it for me. He did, and he had it on speaker. When the person answered, what they said surprised me.

"Hello, Phoenix Police Department, how can we assist you today?" Jacob and I exchanged a glance, and I grabbed my pad and pen, and told Jacob to say exactly what I write.

"Yes, this number was left on my friend's phone, and she doesn't talk anymore, so we were wondering what the reason for calling was."

"Could we have the name of your friend, please?"

"Bella Swan."

"Oh my, Bella Swan? Can she hear me?"

"Yes, she can, the phone is on speaker."

"Okay, Miss Swan, I don't really know whether you're gong to be happy or sad at this point. But, well, you're parents are in jail here. They started beating you're little brother Tristan when you left, and one of the neighbors heard him yelling, and they came over to see what was wrong, and they saw through the window that he was being hit by both of them. I'm so sorry."

I felt tears run down my face, and I wrote, _What about my brother? What's going to happen to him?_

Jacob repeated it, and the officer said, "Well, we were hoping he could come and stay with you and your uncle. Would that be okay?"

"I don't know. She has to ask her Uncle, and we'll call you back as soon as we know."

"Okay. That's fine."

Once Jacob hung up, and let the tears fall freely, and I wasn't ashamed. I couldn't believe I'd left Tristan there with them. I should have known that they would immediately start hurting him. I hoped he wouldn't hold a grudge against me. I felt warm arms around my waist, and I pulled away from Jake, and ran to my dresser, holding up my finger, and I pulled out my razor, but I didn't let Jacob see. I shoved it in my pocket, and wrote that I was going to the bathroom, and I'd be out in a minute.

While I was in there, I leaned against the wall, and let myself slide down. I pulled out the razor, and held it to my wrist, about to slice through, and was ready to hold in my quiet gasp of pain. Then Jacob burst in through the door, and dove down and tried to grab the razor. Before he could I rolled out of his way. I ducked under his arms, and ran out to the kitchen, and hid between the wall and the refrigerator. I only had time to cut one arm. Then Jacob came in, and he grabbed me before I could go anywhere. He jerked the razor out of my hand, and held it out of my reach. I started beating on his chest, and I couldn't help but sob. I heard the razor land in the sink, and then Jacob put his arms around me, securing my arms to my sides.

"Bella, it isn't you're fault that they started beating Tristan, and you know it."

_Yes it is. I should have known that they wouldn't be able to resist! It's my fault, and he's going to hate me forever._

"No. He won't. He'll understand that it's not you're fault. Don't try to blame yourself for this. I'm not going to let you." Then he reached in his back pocket, and pulled out his cell phone. He started texting someone, but I couldn't see, considering it was behind my back. I struggled, but he set the phone on the counter, and started acting like Uncle Matt does when he arrests someone who isn't exactly willing.

He slammed me, not that hard, thankfully, against the wall, and held my arms behind my back, and he spoke softly, and said, "Now, Bella, I'm going to let you go, but you have to promise me that you will go into the living room, and sit down on the couch with me, okay?", he paused, and I nodded quickly, "Good. Now, let's go."

When I let me go, I did as he asked, and when I sat me down, I wiped away fresh tears. I sighed deeply, and leaned against him.

He smiled, and kissed my lips softly, once, and started to pull back, but I wouldn't let him. I pulled his face back down to mine, and kissed him as passionately I could, he gladly answered back, out tongues dancing the fieriest tango ever danced.

I unbuttoned his shirt, and pulled it off his arms. I kissed every part of him I could reach, and moaned softly when he nibbled my earlobe. Before we could go any further, he said against my neck, "Are you sure you really want to do this, Babe? 'Cuz I don't want you to do this to get rid of your emotions, and, I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for. I love you. I haven't known you long, but I do. You don't have to write it back, I just need you to know how I feel." Despite what he'd just said, he continued kissing me, and pulled off my pajama top, which was a really cute black and red tank top, which went with a pair of really short black shorts.

I nodded enthusiastically, and pulled his face up to mine, and mouthed, "I love you too." And kissed him once, twice, three times on the lips, and then I stood up, and pretended to start putting my tank top back on over my bra, staring at Jake teasingly the whole time, and he ran over to my, and gently pulled back out of my hands, saying, "Oh no you don't. You can't get guys' hormones going crazy like that, and then walk away. Are you mental?"

I raised my eyebrows, and then Jake made an indescribable sound that was between a moan and a growl. I noticed him staring at something, and looked down, and there was bruise. He could only see half of it, because my bra covered up the other half, and walked over to him, shrugging, and he shook his head, and muttered something, but all I caught was, "Goddamn bastard." I shook my head, and kissed his shoulders, hands, arms, neck, face, and any other part that wasn't clothed. He moaned again, and pushed me back to the bed. He lay down on top of me, and kissed me.

I rolled over on top of him, and unbuttoned his jeans, and pulled them down. He did the same to me, and when we both reached our climax, we collapsed, both of us tired, panting, and totally happy.

I was the happiest I'd ever been in my entire life, and I was in the arms of the man I loved, physically and emotionally.

I looked up at him, and smiled.

I walked into school, slightly happy because I knew It'd be a long time before I'd have to face the horrible people that called themselves my parents. I ignored the other people laughing and talking in the hallways. I grabbed my books out of my locker, and walked to class, walking in just before the bell. Mr. Barber glared at me, but didn't do anything when I glared right back at him.

I looked to my seat, and saw with distaste that Edward was here, I rolled my eyes, and walked to the table, and angled my self as far away from him as possible. I saw a paper appear in front of me, and I picked up my pen angrily, and then I saw what he'd written, and I couldn't help but smile.

**_What happened over the weekend to make you so happy? And I'm not the only one who's noticed._**

****_Nothing. And what the hell makes you think I'm happy? You look different too._

_ **Good point. Not telling you why though.**_

****_Didn't want to know anyway._

_ **Why don't you talk. And nope, I haven't stopped wondering.**_

****For some reason, I told about my whole life, filling up the rest of the page, and half of the back of it. By the time I was done, class was almost over.

**_Fuck. That sucks. I'm actually really sorry._**

****_Meh, they're both in prison now._

I sped out of class, and jumped into my truck as soon as the bell rang, and drove home.

It'd been two days since Jacob and I had had sex. I was going to buy a pregnancy test, and I was going to take it in a week. I had to be sure.

It wasn't like I was scared, I just didn't need to be thought of as the emo whore in town.

I ran upstairs when I got home, and stashed the test in a drawer in my closet. I made sure it was way down at the bottom, and then I walked into my room, and started flipping through channels, and once I got to seven hundred fifty five, I turned the TV off, and sighed loudly. I grudgingly did my homework, and then went downstairs to start dinner, but then I saw a note on the fridge, and it said that I had an appointment with the dermatologist.

I looked at the clock, and saw that Uncle Matt was going to be here soon to take me, so I just sat at the table, and waited.

When he came in, he said, "We're getting you're scars removed."

I looked down at my arms, and shrugged. The only problem was, there was a very fresh scab from my little breakdown yesterday.

**Okay guys, here's the new chapter. I'm thinking of starting a new story, but, it's sort of just an idea for now. I wanted to post a new chapter for you.**


	7. Chapter 7

When Uncle Matt and I got home after getting my scars removed, I started laughing silently. He looked at me like I was crazy, so I wrote "_It looks like I just cut my wrists and legs twenty times each."_

Then I started laughing, and he did too. Once we stopped, he started staring at me, so I asked him why, and he said, with a hint of sadness in his voice, "You just remind me so much of your Aunt Cindy. She was abused when she was a child, and you look so much like her, it hurts sometimes." He wasn't going to cry, but, I could tell he really missed her.

Aunt Cindy was his wife, but she left him for his roommate from boarding school. He still had the wedding ring, and I felt so bad that I looked like her. He still loved her, and I didn't want him to hurt anymore than he had before I came. Well, I didn't want him to hurt at all, but, that was inevitable.

_I'm so sorry. I wish I could've met her._

"She would've loved you so much. More than anything in the world." He smiled, and I walked over and hugged him.

I walked up to my room, and Uncle Matt called up the stairs, "You're brother's plain should land in an hour, so I'm going to head to Port Angeles to pick him up, you wanna come?"As he finished, he rounded the corner, and was standing in the door way to my room, looking at me.

I shook my head, and held up my arms, and he nodded knowingly.

I sighed, and lay back on my bed. I missed Tristan. I hoped he would like Forks, but he hated rain. So, there wasn't much hope of him liking it. I had Jacob, so, I didn't completely hate it.

Before I knew it, Tristan was jumping on my bed, hugging me tightly, and I hugged him back, and swung him around in a circle, and when he gasped, I set him down, and immediately took his shirt off, hoping I was wrong, but his stomach was really bruised, and I'd hugged him, and on his back, there were more, and my hands had been right on top of them. I hugged him again, gently this time, and kissed his forehead.

"Uncle Matt told me that you won't talk to anybody. I bet that's not true. I can make you talk." He said matter-of-factly.

I shook my head, and Uncle Matt came to the door. "Dinner time. We're going out. Even you, Bella. Dress up a little. Please." He smiled at me, lovingly.

I put on the clothes I was wearing when I came here, and went downstairs.

Uncle Matt gasped, and said, "Oh my god. You look like a completely different person when you dress like that. You look beautiful."

I smiled. _Thanks._

"So, have you taken the test yet, Bells?" Jake asked me, with his eyebrows raised.

_Nope. I can take it now if you want._

"Would you? I'm not trying to be pushy, I just know you're worried about it."

I got the test out of my closet, and headed to the kitchen.

I got out the gallon of water that Uncle Matt kept in the fridge, and drank the whole thing, wiping my mouth when I was done, and then I filled it up, and drank another one. I waited, and I only had to wait about five minutes before I had to go. I ran up to the bathroom, opened the test, sat down on the toilet, and peed. I stood up, washed my hands, and set it on the counter, and Jacob was standing in the doorway, and he kissed my neck softly, and whispered, "It'll be okay." and then I realized that I was shaking.

I nodded, and tried to stop, and concentrated on breathing normally.

I looked at the test, and sadly, there was a little pink plus sign in the middle of the screen. I started hyperventilating, and turned around, and Jacob and I stood in the bathroom for at least thirty minutes, with me crying and hyperventilating in his arms.

"What do you want to do?" he asked after I'd calmed down.

I shrugged. _I guess I could get an abortion._

"No. You already have depression, ad you aren't exactly emotionally stable right now. You'll feel guilty for the rest of your life if you do that."

The way he said it told me not to argue.

_So we're going to keep it? Or do you want to put it up for adoption?_

"I personally think we should keep it, and now we have to go tell your Uncle, he just got home." And he led me downstairs.

_What if he gets mad at me?_

"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. I won't let it."

I smiled. _I love you._

"I love you too." He put his arm around me, and Uncle Matt came through the door.

"Well, hey guys. How's it going?" and then he saw my tear streaked face, and red, puffy eyes, and he immediately look concerned, "What happened? Bella, what's wrong. What did you do to her?" I hated that he immediately accused Jacob, but, I couldn't blame him.

"Now, before I say anything, sir, I would just like to say that I love your niece very much, and I would never do anything to hurt her."

"She's pregnant." And it wasn't a question, he wasn't mad.

"We both thought we should tell you, and I wanted to be here for Bella."

"Well, abortion is out of the question, she's not emotionally stable enough to handle the guilt that comes with that, and I don't think she'd want to give it up for adoption, am I right?" here they both looked at me, and I nodded.

"Well, we need to go to the store, then. Buy a few things you'll need, like books. Jacob, you're coming with us. I'll tell you're parents something. You'll have to tell them soon, though."

We walked out the door, and got in the car. We got to the store, and headed to the book section, and we picked out a couple books, and we signed up for a class that would tell us information. We bought some vitamins and other stuff I would need. People were staring at the buggy, and at me. I knew what some of them were thinking, that I was a little slut, and I was just what a small town needed, and mental notes to tell they're children to stay away from me. I shook my head. I didn't care what other people thought about me. I knew I wasn't a slut, and that was all that mattered.

We checked t me, and the cashier looked at me curiously, and once I really looked, I realized it was Edward. My eyes widened, and I turned around immediately, before he could realize it was me. He probably already had, though.

"Have a nice day."

We walked out, and drove home, putting everything away. At least there's a bright side in all of this, I don't have to have a period. I smiled slightly, and then Jacob said, "I guess I'll go ahead and go home and tell my parents." He leaned down, and kissed my forehead, and hugged me tightly.

"Well, let's go. You're not telling them alone. We aren't doing that to you."

We piled into Jake's car, well, Jake and I did. Uncle Matt got in his own car to drive he and I back when we were ready to leave.

When we got there, there was a bright blue convertible sitting in the drive way, and a tall blonde girl in the driver's seat. I watched her get out of the car, and run over to Jake, kissing him right on the lips, tongue and all, I probably wouldn't have cared, except he kissed her right back, knowing I was there. I gaped at him, and started to reach for my pocket knife out of habit, but someone ripped it out of my hands as soon as I got it open. I was about to punch the person, but then I realized it was Uncle Matt.

"Bella, you're okay. You don't have to do that. Please listen to me, stop it. Bella! Stop!" I just ignored his pleas, which were growing more frantic, he was reaching for my hands, I ignored him and continued scratching at my arms, tearing the bandages on my arms, and then Jacob was there, trying to get me to stop, but I wouldn't let him touch me, I punched him, and turned my back on him. Uncle Matt switched to police officer mode, and pulled his handcuffs out, and pulled my arms behind my back, and cuffed me. I struggled violently, and started kicking and screaming, I just wanted to be left alone. Jacob's parents and neighbors came out, staring, but I didn't care. I wanted Jacob dead, and while Uncle Matt was telling the neighbors that everything was under his control, I lunged at Jacob, forgetting that I was handcuffed. I started kicking him, and when he was down on the ground, I kicked him in the stomach, and screamed in his face, vow of silence forgotten.

Then, suddenly, it was like I could see my self as other people did, and I looked like a crazy pissed of chick. I reminded my self of Charlie. I moaned in defeated agony, and slumped to the ground exhausted. I shuddered, and let myself be loaded into the back of Uncle Matt's police cruiser. I sighed, and stared out the window as we drove home. When we got there, Uncle Matt took me up to my room, I was still hand cuffed. Tristan saw us, and followed us to my room.

"Bella, what happened to you? Are you okay?" Tristan looked so innocent. I felt bad that I'd hurt Jacob so badly, but I was so mad that he was cheating on me.

"I don't know what happened. I got mad, Tristan." My own voice sounded strange.

"I told you I could get you to talk, Bella. Didn't I?" he hugged me, and I kissed the top of his head.

"Yep. You were right Tristan. I didn't think you could." Why not let him think he'd done it?

He looked down at my arms, and shook his head, "Bella. Uncle Matt told you to stop that. You should listen." He walked out of the room, and shut the door behind him.

Uncle Matt was looking down at me. I could tell that he was very disappointed in me. I sat on my bed, hands behind my back, and stared down at the floor, "Uncle Matt, I-"

"Save it, Bella. I don't want to talk about it. Here's the remote, I'll come up later."

"How am I supposed to change the channel?"

"Figure it out. I'll come get you when it's time for dinner."

**So, what did you think about Bella's breakdown????? Review and tell me!!! **


	8. Chapter 8

**BPOV**

Uncle Matt has hardly spoken to me since my little, okay, gigantic breakdown. Jacob's calling non stop, but I won't talk to him. I just want him to leave me alone. It's been a week, and Edward's getting worried. It's actually really funny, but, I don't know why he even cares about me.

Uncle Matt took the handcuffs off when it was time for dinner, thankfully. My wrists were so sore. I was kind of mad at him. He didn't have to handcuff me, but, what ever. I was over it. Tristan was absolutely thrilled that I was speaking again. Especially because he loved listening to me sing.

I set up my singing equipment in an empty room down the hall from mine. I was in there all the time. I sang a song about Jacob, while we were together, and how I felt when he kissed _her_.

"Bella, time for school, sis." Tristan called through the locked door.

"I'm up."

I put on a pair of skinny jeans, brushed my hair out, and then pulled on a bright red tank top, and a black, low-cut sweater. I pulled on my black vans, and then walked down to breakfast. I brushed my teeth after I ate, and drove to school. I felt strange talking, not having done it for a while. I hadn't talked in school yet, and I didn't plan on it soon. I was just fine with letting the teachers think I still wasn't talking.

On my way to school, I saw Jacob, and that girl in a car, kissing. I gasped, and had to pull over; I couldn't concentrate on the road. I took deep breaths, but it didn't work. I could still see them, and that really didn't help. I reached for my knife, and only cut once. At least I was getting better. I had to hold my chest, I felt like my lungs were going to burst. I couldn't get any air, and I felt like I was dyeing.

I looked down at the blood dripping on my jeans, and was thankful I always kept a pair of jeans in my locker at school. A car pulled up behind mine, and Edward got out. He looked furious. I scowled. I didn't want to talk to him.

He knocked on the window, so I decided to roll the window down.

"What do you want?" I snapped, which surprised even me.

"Well, then, you're talking now?"

"For your information, Jacob fucked me, got me pregnant, and then he goes and starts kissing this chick while he standing in front of me, about tot ell his parents I'm pregnant. I basically went crazy, and eventually, My Uncle had to handcuff me, and take me back to the house in the back of the cruiser. He left me handcuffed on my bed for an hour. While I was kicking Jacob, when I went crazy, I started screaming insults at Jacob, and I've been talking since." I huffed, and stared at him.

"When did that happen? I'm sorry by the way, that really fuckin' sucks."

"Yep. Last weekend. I just didn't feel like talking in school yet."

"You know I was really worried about you, I didn't what was wrong with you. I'm really sorry, Bella." He actually sounded sincere, and I half smiled.

"Well, that's okay. I really loved him, and, I, you know, it's difficult to explain. Have you ever been in love?"

"Yes, very recently, actually."

"Okay, well, let's say you saw that girl kissing some guy you didn't know, what do you think you would do?"

"Um, I would get really jealous, and probably start cutting again, which is sort of what you did, so, yeah." he smile wryly.

"You have a great smile; you should do it more often." I blurted without thinking, and then I clapped my hand over my mouth, eyes wide and blushing crazily.

"I really don't have much to smile about, and I'm not going to walk around smiling all the time, I'd look like a fucking retard."

"Good point. Although you do anyway, so you don't have much to worry about. Other making a complete and utter fool of yourself, and making people think you might actually be a tad bit normal. We should probably get to school, you know?" I drove off before he could say anything.

I sighed. I really didn't want to be here. Uncle Matt was making me apologize to Jacob. I shifted my weight to my other foot, and sighed again.

"Bella. Stop fidgeting. You're going to apologize, and that's final." Uncle Matt was pissed. I'd thrown a big fit when he said I was apologizing.

I've never apologized in my life. You can't apologize if you're not sorry.

"I'm not apologizing for something I'm not sorry for."

"Don't make me handcuff you again. And don't you dare hit him when he comes to the door."

"Whatever." I was probably more pissed that he was, but, I wasn't going to apologize.

"Well, hello, Bella. How are you, dear?" his mother answered, and I could tell she didn't really want me here, afraid I'd have a breakdown again, probably.

"I'm fine. Is Jacob here? I want to apologize for losing my temper the other day." I put on my best 'I feel really bad, and if I could take it back I would.' Voice, and his mom looked like she believed me.

"Okay, hold on, I'll go and get him for you." And she disappeared behind the door.

"Jacob! Bella's here. She wants to apologize."

"Bella's here? Really? Tell her I'll be right down." And I could hear him clomping down the stairs, beating his mother to the door.

"Bella! Hi," he reached out and hugged me; I stiffened, "how are you? Are you feeling okay?"

With that last question, I knew he was referring to my stomach.

I grimaced, "Eh, I guess it's okay." I shifted awkwardly, not sure how to start.

"Listen, I shouldn't have kissed her back, she was an ex, and I hadn't seen her in a while. And when she kissed me, all the love I used to feel for her came back. She was my first love, you know. Anyway, it was just like seeing your favorite stuffed animal after being away from home for a year, or something, you know? And about us kissing in the car, I got back together with her, because I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I still love you, Bells. I really do." He sounded sincere, but I saw that girl in the living room, peeking around the corner. I shook my head.

"You're really a jerk, you know that?" and I walked off, and got in the car, not letting myself cry.

Uncle Matt was apologizing profusely to Jacob and his mother, and Jacob was glaring at me. His mother just looked relieved that I hadn't started trying to kill her son. I can't really blame her. I wanted to, but I'd probably have to go to jail.

I sighed; it wouldn't be the first time. I've stolen, shoplifted, mugged people, and gotten caught with drugs in my car. I'm surprised that the people that Uncle Matt works with at the station haven't heard of me yet. I smiled, they'll hear of me soon enough.

I let the warm water rush over my tense body, and relaxed all of my muscles one by one. I had no clue why I was getting back into this. I didn't have time to think about that now, my hair I was clean and the hot water was starting to run out. I pulled on my cargo pants, and a black, tight fitting black tank top, and a pair of converse. I grabbed the various things I use to make them, and ran back up to my room, and stepped into my closet, and opened up the door I found at the back, and stepped into my own little secret room. I set down all the pills, and the various cleaners.

I picked up the pill crusher, and set about crushing aspirin, ibuprofen, Darvacet, and a ton of other prescription pills. I kept an ear open for any sign that Uncle Matt was coming, and listening for him calling me. I never heard anything. That was good, and soon, he'll be leaving for the lake to go fishing. Tristan was at a friend's house, which meant I'd have the whole house to myself to do this.

I swallowed, and began mixing everything. I put it into my little vials, and closed them up, labeling what they were, and what was in them. I didn't need any people getting allergic reactions to stuff I made. Once I had about twenty vials of five different kinds of drugs, I looked up at the clock and gasped. I'd been in my closet for about five hours! I quickly put everything away, and grabbed a few of each kind, and stuffed them in my backpack. I'd sell them to the school druggies tomorrow.

I still had no clue why I was doing this again, I'd promised my self I wouldn't do this anymore, but I couldn't just throw it all away. I shrugged, and went downstairs, and made a pizza, and grabbed two slices of it when it was done. I got a glass of coke, and headed back up to my room, and watched TV.

I guess I'd fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Tristan was telling me that it was time for school. I got up, showered, and dressed quickly. I skipped downstairs, and told Uncle Matt and Tristan bye, and drove to school, thinking about anything but what I was doing today.

I pulled into the parking lot, and walked into school, making sure that the druggies saw the drugs in my bag, and walked off to class.

Luckily, I had a different druggie I almost every class. I even sat by one in my first period class.

I was listening to the teacher, and taking notes when a piece of paper slid into my view. I smirked, and read it.

The scrawl was hard to read, but I managed to figure out what it said.

What kinds do you have, and how much are they?

I've got five different kinds; they're only five dollars each. When and where? Tell your friends about me.

He nodded slightly, and I went back to my notes. There was a note in my locker, and I recognized the writing from the druggie in my first hour class. It said behind the gym after school, and most of his friends would be there. He was down the hall, leaning against his locker looking just past me, and when I nodded, he turned, and walked off. Every once in a while, I'd see a druggie, and they'd slightly nod at me, and by my last hour class, I'd seen every druggie in school in the hall ways. One had even stopped to talk to me. We'd exchanged a few of our preferences, and then walked on, heading to our next class.

When I slid into my seat in Biology, Edward was staring at me, and he looked completely and totally shocked. I smiled, and said, "What? Never seen a girl before? If you take a picture, it will last a lot longer than if you stare at the actual person."

Then, the teacher came in, and he never had a chance to say anything.

He did, however, have the chance to slap a piece of paper into my lap, making sure to slap my leg in the process. I gasped, and Mr. Barber looked at me, and asked, "Is there anything you would like to share with the class, Bella? Come up and write it on the board please."

There were a few snickers in class, and I cleared my throat, and said, quite loudly and clearly, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just realized that, um, you're barn door is open. Next time you decide to masturbate before class, be sure that you zip up again."

There were gasps, and Edward even smiled, and I saw him laughing silently.

"Bella, however pleased I am to see that you have decided to grace us with your voice, I do not appreciate unnecessary remarks in class. If you would please go to the principal's office, and Edward, would you show her where it is. I know your very familiar with the quickest paths there and back, thank you. Good bye." And he just went back to his completely boring, and unnecessary lecture.

Once the door was shut, Edward said, that was really smooth. I never thought of saying something like that."

I walked to the back of the gym , and had my hand in the pocket with my drugs in it, and saw the druggies in a group, snorting, shooting up, and smoking back there. I walked back there, and the one who'd talked to me in the hallway came up to me, and said, " Okay, what kinds do you have, what do they do, and how much are they?"

**A/N: Hey guys? What do you think of Bella's sudden path back to her past ways? Do you like this idea? Review and tell me. If you don't like it, I'll do something to make her stop. Luv you guys!**

**Kori…..3**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, tell me if you guys think that this story is getting stupider with every chapter. Is stupider even a word? And is fantastical a word either? It doesn't seem like it, but people say it all the time. Also, why don't potatoes, tomatoes, tocitoes (a Mexican food, I know it isn't spelled right, but you know what I mean, I hope) have toes? They all have toes at the end, but none of them have toes. Do any of you think that that's false advertising? Anyway, I'm starting to worry about myself, so I'm gonna start writing the story now.**

**EPOV**

I sighed. I couldn't believe Bella was a druggie. I used to be, but my parents forced me to go through drug court, and I passed 100%. I hate people who do drugs. They make you do things you'll regret later.

_Flashback:_

_I snuck in the back door, and ran up to my room as fast as I could. I had to be careful not to make a sound, and then I grabbed a condom, and ran back to my car. My girlfriend was sitting in the passenger seat, giggling her head off. I started laughing with her, not knowing why as we headed down the road, down to the neighborhood park, and move to the backseat. At first, we just talked, and then we started kissing, and then we were half naked in the backseat of my car, naked, and just about to reach both of our climax, and we did. She and I both cried out, and collapsed on each other. I looked down, and kissed her tenderly, and told her I loved her. She kissed me back twice as passionately, and told me that she love me more._

I didn't believe how much I regretted that now. I sighed again. I shrugged, and ran out to my car, saying that I was going for a drive, and not to expect me for dinner. I turned up the music, and it was a song by Five Finger Death Punch called Never Enough.

I'm so fed up with everyone around me  
(No one seems to care)  
I'm just so far gone and nothing's gonna change  
(I'll never be the same)

It's always do this, do that,  
Everything they want to  
I don't want to live that way  
Every chance they get their always  
Pushin me away

[Chorus:]  
It's never enough  
No it's never enough  
No matter what I say

It's never enough  
No it's never enough  
I'll never be what you want me to be

It's all so messed up and no one ever listens  
(Everyone's deranged)  
I'm just so fucked up and I'm never gonna change  
(Wanna lay it all to waste)

Their always say this, say that,  
Nothing that you want to  
I don't want to live that way  
Every chance they get their always  
Shovin me aside

[Chorus]

I'm Done

[Bridge:]  
In the end we're all just chalklines on the concrete  
Drawn only to be washed away  
For the time that I've been given  
I am what I am

I'd rather hate you  
For everything you are  
Than ever love you  
For something you are not

I'd rather you hate me  
For everything I am  
Than have you love me  
For something that I'm not

It's never enough  
It's never enough  
No matter what I say

It's never enough  
No it's never enough  
No matter who I try to be

It's never enough  
No it's never enough  
No matter how I try to taste

It's never enough  
Never never enough  
I'll never be what you want me to be.

**BPOV**

I smiled at how much cash I made selling drugs for just a week. I had at least three hundred dollars, and I was about to go to the mall. I needed some new skinny jeans, and shirts and CD's. I saw a CD by Five Finger Death Punch, and thought of Edward, it was his favorite band.

Edward was hardly speaking to me, but I didn't care, he was a jerk anyway. He was probably dating some chick.

Speaking ofdating, I kind of miss Jake. "_Oh, my god!_" I said out loud, Jake had said that he only got together with the girl because he didn't think that I'd ever talk to him again, and he'd said he really loved me. Why would he leave the girl if he didn't love me?

"Oh no, oh no, oh no. I've made a huge mistake." I shook my head at my stupidity, and sort of ran downstairs, to talk to Uncle Matt, and tell him that I had to go, and that I'd be back later, but I didn't know what time. I looked down at my feet, well, where my feet usually are, my stomach is getting bigger, and people can really tell that I am pregnant now, and it's a little embarrassing.

Once I got downstairs, I told Uncle Matt that I was going for a drive, and that I would be back later. I jumped in my truck, and headed to Jake's house, hoping that he was still there.

While I was waiting for them to answer the door, the baby started kicking, and then Jake answered the door, and I was wincing. He stared at me, probably wondering what the hell I was doing at his house, and then I smiled, and said, "Hey. What's up? The baby's kicking right now, anyway. I wanted to apologize for what I said before. I got to thinking about what you said, and I realized that you'd gotten together with the girl because you didn't think you'd ever see me again, and I realized that I missed you, and I still love you, Jacob. I hope you'll get back together with me."

His only answer was to pick me up, and hug me so tightly that I thought my stomach would burst open. I protested, and he set me down.

"I'm so happy you came around Bells! How are you?" he asked, glancing at my stomach.

"Good. I have an ultrasound tomorrow. "

"Really? Do you, I mean, should I, um . . . . . . Could I come?" he sounded so hopeful, so I laughed, and nodded my head. We walked inside, and I told him all about what I'd been doing lately.

**A/N: Okay guys, how did you like this. I added to this chapter just now, and I'm going to start posting the best reviews I get on here, and I'll check out one of your stories, and advertise it on here. So, if you want more people to see you're stories, review my fics, and you'll probably get advertised!!!!**

**Here is the first fave review, posted by **

**-13 Broken Hearts-**

**Hi! I'm a HUGE fan of your story. I was just wondering if you planned on**

**writing more and, if so, approximately when you'd be posting more. I have**

**about 20 people that I suggested your story to. They read it and came to me to**

**talk about it. We all think your story is the best we've ever read. All of us**

**are anxious for your next chapter.**

**:)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **_**PLEASE READ!!!!! IMPORTANT!!!!!!!**_

**Wow, okay, I am sooooo sorry for not updating lately. My Computer's been down for the past month, and I just got it fixed. I'm working on the next chapter, and I'm so sorry! Any way, I feel really bad for not updating, but I'll post the next chapter as soon as possible. I know you guys probably hate me, but, I'm back in action. Also, I need a little help from you guys.**

**I'm trying to think of ways for Bella and Jacob to break up so that Bella will end up with Edward. I have a few options, but I'm still gonna ask for some of you're opinions. You can either vote for one of my ideas, or choose one of your own.**

**Option 1: Jacob really was cheating on Bella with those two girls who he said were his sisters, and that he's still seeing that girl he kissed in front of Bella who was supposed to be his ex-girlfriend.**

**Option 2: Jacob gets drunk, and hits Bella. Obviously, because of past experiences, she breaks it off with him.**

**Option 3: Come with one of your own ideas! Review or PM me with you're vote. **

**I love you guys so much, and tell some of you're friends about me!!!! Even if they haven't heard of fanfiction, please, please, please tell them to check it, and me out. I'm also thinking of another idea for a different story. Here's the possible summary, and tell me what you think!!!**

_Isabella has been a drug addict ever since she turned thirteen, and he father started beating her. She skips class, and cusses out anyone who tries to talk to her. Until the Cullens, a family of ex-drug-addicts move to Forks._

**Sooo? What do you think? Okay, this is getting majorly long, and my boyfriend's supposed to be coming over soon, I gotta go finish getting ready! Love you guys!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **_**PLEASE READ!!!!! IMPORTANT!!!!!!!**_

**Some of you may have read this already, so you can skip over this. But, anyone else, please read. I know you hate Author notes, but, ummm, yeah, please read anyway. Wow, okay, I am sooooo sorry for not updating lately. My Computer's been down for the past month, and I just got it fixed. I'm working on the next chapter, and I'm so sorry! Any way, I feel really bad for not updating, but I'll post the next chapter as soon as possible. I know you guys probably hate me, but, I'm back in action. Also, I need a little help from you guys.**

**I'm trying to think of ways for Bella and Jacob to break up so that Bella will end up with Edward. I have a few options, but I'm still gonna ask for some of you're opinions. You can either vote for one of my ideas, or choose one of your own.**

**Option 1: Jacob really was cheating on Bella with those two girls who he said were his sisters, and that he's still seeing that girl he kissed in front of Bella who was supposed to be his ex-girlfriend.**

**Option 2: Jacob gets drunk, and hits Bella. Obviously, because of past experiences, she breaks it off with him.**

**Option 3: Come with one of your own ideas! Review or PM me with you're vote. **

**I love you guys so much, and tell some of you're friends about me!!!! Even if they haven't heard of fanfiction, please, please, please tell them to check it, and me out. I'm also thinking of another idea for a different story. Here's the possible summary, and tell me what you think!!!**

_Isabella has been a drug addict ever since she turned thirteen, and he father started beating her. She skips class, and cusses out anyone who tries to talk to her. Until the Cullens, a family of ex-drug-addicts move to Forks._

**Sooo? What do you think? Okay, this is getting majorly long.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, any part of it, I wish I did….I'm merely borrowing the characters for a bit… :D**

**EPOV**

Ugh. I was getting tired of not talking to Bella. I mean, seriously, so what if she's a druggie, maybe I could talk her out of it. Of course, my friends couldn't talk me out of it, but, I don't know. I'll try.

**BPOV**

I wish Edward would talk to me. He was a person I could relate to. At least I have Jake back.

Speaking of, rather, thinking of Jake, we have a date in four hours. I should eat and start getting ready.

I decided to wear a red pair of super tight skinny jeans, and a black semi tight fitting tank top, and black converse.

None of my shirts could be too tight, because of my stomach. This seriously sucked, because all I had were tight fitting clothes. At least I was only gaining baby, and no fat, which was so freakin' cool. I had just enough time to dry my hair, and put my makeup on, and then Jake came.

I went downstairs as fast as I could, and jumped into Jake's arms, with quite a bump between us. He kissed my forehead, and then bent down, and kissed my stomach, and rubbed it gently.

"Don't get too sensitive, Jake, you'll lose you're manly touch."

"Ha ha. Cute."

"I know I'm cute, you don't have to tell me to remind me. What are we doing tonight?"

"I don't know, what do you think we're doing?"

"You know I hate it when you do that, what are we doing?"

"You'll see."

We got in his car, and we drove forever, it had to be at least an hour and a half. We finally parked on a cliff that was facing out over the ocean. The moon was reflecting against the water, and it was so pretty. I gasped, and grabbed Jake's hand.

We both leaned in, and kissed each other. We talked, kissed, and talked some more. We apparently fell asleep in the car, and we were out there all night. I woke up, and the sun was just coming up over the horizon.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Jake said, brushing a strand of hair back to my face, and kissing my softly.

"Hello."

We talked for a few minutes, and then we drove home. Uncle Matt acted like he was furious, but I could tell it was staged. He knew I wouldn't do anything that he wouldn't want me doing. Well, now that I'd done the ultimate bad thing that no parent wants they're child to do.

"Uncle Matt, I'm fine. We slept all night in his car, and we're home now, so everything's okay."

"Alright. You have an ultrasound in two hours. Eat breakfast, and shower and all that, Jake; you can go if you want. You might want to go home, and tell you're parents where you'll be for the next two and a half hours. Maybe more."

* * *

I sat holding Jake's hand in the waiting area, tapping my feet. I hated doctor's offices, they smell bad, and they always keep you waiting if you're on time, and the one time you're running late, they're ready for you on time, and they get all pissy when you show up.

After about twenty minutes, which, compared to usual isn't that bad, the doctor came out, and said that they were ready for me.

Dad, Jake, and I walked back, and I lay down on the bed/chair back there, and waited for the doctor to come in, and rub that disgusting clear jelly stuff all over my hugely swollen stomach. Jake smiled down at me, and kissed my forehead.

"Don't get all mushy in here in front of me. It's sickening the way you two act sometimes." Dad complained, grinning.

"Oh, boo-hoo. I think you'll live if you have to see us kiss sometimes. People who are dating usually do that, you know."

"Alright, Ms. Swan, how are you today?"

"I'm wonderful, Dr. Ramone, and so is this little guy, or umm, girl, who has been extremely calm and quiet lately."

"That's wonderful, Bella. And who is this handsome young man with you today? The father, I hope, you're child will be gorgeous if he is."

"Yes, he is the father, and I hope that our baby will be gorgeous. So, let's find out what sex this little guy or girl is!"

Dr. Ramone slathered the jelly-like substance on my stomach, and found the child almost instantly. I smiled, and Jake put his hand on my shoulder in a very tender and sweet manner. I looked up at him, and he was watching the screen intently. I looked over at the screen, and Dr. Ramone looked over at me, and did that thing with her glasses where she moved them down to the tip of her nose, and looked over the rims at me.

"Well, Bella. I hope that the father wants to have a daddy's girl."

"Oh, really? She's, I mean, oh." I felt the tears welling up. I'd always wanted a girl, and now my dreams were coming true.

Jake looked exactly as I imagined that I did. He squeezed my shoulder softly, and looked down at me right as a tear landed on his hand. I smiled up at him, so glad that he was the father of my child, and not someone like Edward, who probably would have run off by now if he were in this situation. I clenched my jaw, and tried not to let the tears overflow, but they were stronger than my determination at that point. I couldn't stop them, I sat up, and leaned into Jake's stomach, and wrapped my arms around him. I knew that I was probably over reacting, but I didn't care. I was so happy that my little girl was going to have such a wonderful father.

Jake unwrapped my arms from around his waist too easily, and I looked at him, and said, "What's wrong?"

"I've got to get to work, but I'll call you tonight, babe. I love you."

He pecked me on the cheek, and walked out before I got the chance to say anything back.

At least he'd gotten a job as soon as he found out that I was pregnant, he wanted to get as much money together as he could so that when we graduated high school we wouldn't have to stay at home with our parents until we raised enough money to buy our own home.

* * *

I sighed. I really didn't want to go to school today. My stomach hurt, and I was throwing up all night, and now I'm craving cottage cheese, which I think is disgusting. I groaned, and crawled out of bed, and pulled on some jeans, and a t-shirt that I hardly ever wore. I hated it. It was really baggy, well, compared to what I used to wear, and it was a horrible shade of purple, it was like they'd added a bunch of green to it, and then tried to make up for it, and add purple again. I shrugged, and pulled on a black hoodie over it, and dragged myself to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and hair, and leave.

I walked in to school, and everyone looked at me, and then immediately at my stomach, and looked away if they saw me look at them. I rolled my eyes, and tried to ignore the hundreds of stares that I got walking to my locker. I slammed my locker shut, and stalked off to class, anxious to get home, and got back to bed.

No one tried to talk to me, and I didn't try to talk to them. I felt like my old self again. I shook my head. I wasn't my old self. I was trying to build a better life for myself, and up until I went and willingly had sex with a guy for the first time in my life, I'd been doing pretty well. But, since then, I'd gone downhill. I walked into biology, thankful that it was my last class of the day, and then Edward smirked, and I knew he was going to give me a whole bunch of shit today. I was so not in the mood for him today, but I guess I didn't have a choice.

I skulked to my seat, and slammed my books down so hard that everyone, including Edward, flinched. I half smiled, and sat down, resting my head on one hand, and using the other hand to hold my swelling stomach, and sighed. Loudly.

"So, Bella, bad day?"

"Ugh."

"Was that a yes?"

I raised my left hand, which had been on my stomach, and waved it around in the general direction of his face, and groaned again.

I heard him laugh, "What's wrong, will you just tell me?"

"Why do you care exactly?"

"I don't. Just thought you might want to vent or something. But you're to late now. Mr. Barber's here. Sorry." And with that, he turned in his seat, and readied his pen, pressed to the paper ready to start taking notes.

I squinted my eyes at him, and shrugged. Everything feels weird to day. About five minutes into class, I got bored, and wrote Edward a note, and told him about everything that happened.

He frowned, and scribbled something.

Well, I don't see how you can blame Jacob for that. I mean, I know he's the guy you had sex with, but, it was you're choice, so you don't get to complain.

Well, aren't you the sensitive one today? Why so moody, eh? You're not really a girl, and pregnant, are you?

He never answered me, and I didn't try to pass him anymore notes.

As soon as the bell rang, we both ran for the door, and got there at the same time. We bumped into each other, and of course, me being a gigantic klutz, I fell, and landed right on my stomach. I immediately rolled over and clutched it. I gasped, and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

I couldn't get up, and I was almost positive that I'd hurt the baby. Mr. Barber rushed out, and down the hallway, calling that he was going to get the nurse for help. I scooted myself back, and leaned against the wall. I didn't want any help getting up; I was going to get up on my own. I felt someone sit down beside me, and I saw Edward. He smiled at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to knock you down, I just want to get home, I have a few things I need to do."

I just shook my head at him. I couldn't talk. I was in so much pain.

All of a sudden, I heard a bunch of gasps, and I looked down.

"Shit!" My water had broken, and the baby was going to be two and a half months early!

Edward made everyone move back, and barked at someone to go get a chair, and someone else to call an ambulance.

I looked at him questioningly, and he just shrugged, "My dad's a doctor."

When the chair came out, he told me put my feet up in the chair, so that they were at the corners, and my heels were on the chair just enough so that the chair wouldn't move.

"Now, Bella. Take deep breaths in through you're mouth, and out through you're nose. Over and over."

He started breathing in sync with me, and I felt a little calmer, and then it started.

I went into labor. I heard sirens in the distance, and that was the last thing I remember.

I woke up, and the heart monitor immediately started beeping. I looked around. I was in the back of an ambulance, and then it all rushed back to me. I shook my head, and saw Edward sitting in the corner of the car, biting his nails, and breathing in and out, in and out, in and out.

I laughed quietly, and his head snapped up, and he gasped in relief. He rushed over and asked me if I was okay. I nodded, and closed my eyes. I wasn't tired, just still in pain. Jacob burst in the door, and threw Edward out of the way. I gasped, and sat up, and Jake hugged me so tight, I thought my stomach would explode.

"Jake! Stomach!"

"Oh! Sorry, babe. I didn't mean to. I forgot. So, how's the little girl doin'?"

"Good. The doctor said that she should be okay, just a false alarm. Said that I didn't really go into labor, just that the fall shocked my stomach was all. I can go home In a couple days."

He kissed my cheek, and then headed off to work.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Okay guys!!! Pleeeeeaaaaassseeee vote on the poll on my profile, also check out the author note on Chapter 10. I have a question on there for you guys. Not the same thing as the poll, but the thing about the new idea, so, please either review, or PM me with you're thoughts on the idea. The poll will be closed in three weeks, so, start voting. Thanks so much!!!**

**Disclaimer: I, oh so sadly, do not own Twilight. Oh, how jealous I am of the wonderful, lovely, and talented Stephanie Meyer……….. 8-(**

**BPOV**

I walked in my house, and ran upstairs to take a proper shower. The hospital had horrible water pressure, and I was in some serious need of shampoo.

I sighed as the hot water hit my back, and washed away the fear I'd felt two days ago. I shook my head, savored the feel of everything washing away. I leaned my head against the wall in back of the shower, and closed my eyes, thinking about how lucky I was to have someone like Jake. He was so sweet to me, and he'd never hurt, or lie to me, unlike my father. I couldn't trust him, and I never felt safe around him, I was always scared around him, sometimes even for my life.

I stepped out of the shower, and wrapped myself in a huge, white, fluffy towel, and ran across the hall to my room. I pulled on a pair of hot pink Sophie's. **(A/N: If anyone doesn't know what those are, they're just really short shorts.)** Then I put on a dark blue, long sleeved shirt with different colored neon flowers on the sleeves. I went downstairs, and told Uncle Matt that I was just going to go ahead and go to bed.

I couldn't believe how tired I was, I'd been lying around for the past two days, but, for some reason, in a hospital, it's a lot more tiring than when you do it at home.

I snuggled down into bed, mine was so comfortable. I rubbed my stomach for a few minutes, and then said softly, "Good-night, my sweet little angel girl."

I made an extra pillow with my arms, and went to sleep.

* * *

I woke up as soon as the alarm clock went off. I got up, ran on my treadmill, which had finally come, and then jumped in the shower, and took a quicker one this time. I dried my hair, and then straightened it a little, and brushed it out.

I pulled on a pair of bright green skinny jeans, and then I pulled on a long sleeved, v-neck sweater t-shirt. I pulled my black vans on, and then I put on my black choker that had a neon green peace sign on it. I looked in my mirror, and fixed my bangs one last time, and ran downstairs to grab a banana. I kissed Uncle Mat on the cheek, and walked out the door with my book bag slung over my shoulder.

When I pulled into the parking lot, every one turned, and watched my car pull in to its new spot closer to the front of the school that everyone had reserved for me, and as soon as I got out, everyone, except Lauren, started swarming me with questions. I shook them off, and hurried to my locker.

The whole day went by in a blur. Everyone asked me if the baby was okay, and if I was okay and some of the teachers even felt a bit sorry for me after a while, and asked the students to calm down the questioning a bit. It helped a little, but not a whole lot. And then, at lunch, I was greeted with a surprise.

When I walked in, several people asked me to sit with them. But, the one person I noticed in particularly was Edward. He and three people I didn't recognize were waving at me. And then I saw all of their eyes widen as the looked over my shoulder. I turned just in time to see a blur of color, and then I felt two bony arms around my neck.

A very familiar voice said, "Oh, Bella! I've missed you soooo much, but now we can hang out every day. Isn't that great!?"

"Alice?"

The little pixie jumped off of me, and laughed, "Yes, silly. Why didn't you call me? You've met my brother Edward, right? Will you sit with us today? When did you get pregnant?"

I laughed, and answered everything in one breath, " I've been a bit bust lately, yes I've met him, and yes I'll sit with you, and I'll tell you when I got pregnant when we sit down."

She dragged me over to her table, and plopped me down between her and Edward. I was really the only one that actually talked throughout the whole lunch period. I didn't mind though. I was happy around Edward, and the rest of his family.

"So, Alice, you never told Bianca, Shay and I that you had a brother. Is there a particular reason for that?"

"Not really. It just didn't really seem important, considering what you three talked about all the time, it definitely didn't come up." She shrugged, and started to look like she really didn't want to talk about this, so I decided to wait until later to ask her. I'd force her to tell me if I had to.

After school let out, I went home, and did all of my homework, finished my laundry, cleaned up the living room and kitchen, and then started on dinner.

I had just finished the Bolognese Sauce, and was pouring it on the noodles when Uncle Matt walked in the door. He inhaled deeply through his nose, and said, "It smells good, Bells. Thanks."

He hung up his gun, and sat down at the table.

We talked about what happened at school today, and he seemed pleased about the fact that someone that I'd liked from what I now called my old life was here in my new one. I was kind of happy, but I really wanted Shay here. She'd always been my best friend.

I was walking around upstairs, waiting for Jake to call. He was supposed to call me, but, sometimes, he was a little late. What with school work and all, so, I wasn't really worried. I needed to check my email anyway. I sat down at my computer, and logged on to my email, and scrolled through the list, deleting spam, and all forwards. Both of them were potential virus carriers, and I wasn't about to risk getting a virus on my computer.

I opened one from Tristan, and it was a picture of him and his friends messing around in the back yard of his new best friend Austin. I shook my head and smiled. He'd been spending the week there, and he didn't even know about my fall, which was a good thing. Even though he was my younger brother, he was just as protective as an older one. It was sweet, really. I wrote back, and sent him one of me, and everyone in Edward's family.

I hadn't noticed at the time, but Edward had had his arm around my shoulders. Hmm. I don't know why I hadn't noticed that. I hope Jacob doesn't see this. I hate keeping things from him, but, sometimes, he makes way to big of a deal out of things. It's only happened since he found out I was pregnant, but, it's kind of getting annoying. I clicked send on the email, and opened one that was from Shay.

She was telling me about how her brother had gotten drunk the other day, and I felt so bad. Shay's brother hit her when he got drunk. I hated it, but I couldn't do anything about it from here. I guess I could tell Shay to put a video camera in her room hidden, but to where you could see basically the whole room.

I typed up my apologies to Shay, and told her my suggestion. I told her to give it to the police next time it happened, and maybe he'd get convicted or something. I knew it was a long shot, but, it was worth a try.

The phone rang, and I picked it up off of my side table.

"Hello?"

"Bella, you are such a little lying, back-stabbing slut!"

It was my mom. Probably calling from her prison.

"What do you want, Mom. I'm busy, and waiting for a call."

"Listen, I know you're pregnant, and you'd better get rid of it, and fast. You're father's getting out in two years, and the second he does, he's coming to get you, you little nasty liar."

I sighed, "Listen, Mom, will you hold on just a second, I need to shut the door so Uncle Matt won't hear me talking to you, okay?" That was code for hold on; let me go tell Uncle Matt that he needs to get you off the phone and fast.

"Alright."

I ran as fast as I could down stairs, and told Uncle Matt that Renee was calling my cell phone, and what should I do.

"Umm, I'll call the prison she's in, and tell them that she's not allowed to talk to you. NO go back up there, fast."

I ran up there, and told her that he was out of the house, and we could talk freely.

"Good. Now, one more thing. I want you to get back into making drugs."

"Already have Mom. Why?"

"Some of the people you used to deal to came to the house just before the cops came to take us, and wanted some more. I gave them you're address, and they're going to be there in two weeks."

She gave me all the people's names and I looked up on my email what they use d to get from me. I already had plenty of everything they used to buy made.

"Okay, the guard's coming. I'll call you in a month to see if anything else has come up. Bye, honey. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom. Thanks for giving me some business again. The druggies at school are wimps. "

She laughed, and hung up.

I went down stairs, and fake thanked Uncle Matt for getting rid of her.

I went in to my make-shift drug-lab, and took inventory of everything that I would need. If these people kept coming to me, I'd make a lot of money, and I'd be able to get serious about it again. Bianca and Shay would have to be my distributors. They always got twenty-five percent each of every purchase, so, they never complained.

I wrote down some new things that I would need soon, and made a mental note to put those on the list of groceries, so that next time I went to the store, I wouldn't just be buying a bunch of ingredients for drugs.

**A/N: So, I know you guys probably hate me right now, but my fingers had a mind of their own, and that's what they wrote. Anyway, go check out the poll on my profile if you haven't already!!!!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay, so, you guys may or may not hate me. Like I said before, my fingers had a mind of their own, and I kind of liked what happened, so I didn't change it. LOL.**

**BPOV:**

I browsed up and down the aisles, and chewed on my lip. I didn't know what kind of things to get for their products, and I was running low on time, my old clients were going to be coming by in three days. I still had to make most of their products, and I never really had too much time to my self to work on it. I shook my head, I hated staying up late, but that was the best time to do it.

I saw a form come onto the aisle I was in, and I hurriedly picked up the strongest version of pain reliever that you could buy without a prescription. I went to turn around, but a hand shot out, and grabbed my wrist. I glared up at the person, and, oh, what a surprise! It was Edward.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"Hmm, sinus reliever, aspirin, Tylenol, ibuprofen, and household cleaners. What could you possibly be doing with all of this Bella? Do you really feel that bad? You know, a dirty house isn't healthy for a baby, but I guess you already knew that, huh?" He said with a satisfied smirk on his face.

I jerked my hand, but his hand was like the tightest hand cuff in the world, I couldn't budge my hand. I knew better than to scream, he'd find a quick easy way to shut me up.

I relaxed, and said, "Why do you care what I do at home, Edward. It's none of you're business. It's not like I matter to you or anything anyway. So why don't you just shut the hell up, and leave me alone."

His grip on me got so tight, it was painful, and when he spoke, his voice was hard, and cold as metal, it reminded me of my father, and I shrank away from him as he stepped forward.

"Bella, I care about you, and don't you dare forget it. All I want to know is why you are doing this, why are you selling! How can you make those drugs, and not feel guilty that you have a growing child inside of you? What the hell happened to you that you didn't tell me to make you do this? Have you ever used? Do you know what it feels like?" He was practically yelling now.

I could feel the fear starting to show on my face, and I knew my eyes were bigger than they'd ever been. Edward had me pressed up against the aisle shelf, and he was staring daggers at me with his jaw clenched, and I could see the muscles working in his jaw.

I narrowed my eyes, "I'm sure you do care about me. Can you not tell how scared I am right now? You know I was abused for years by both of my parents, and here you are, bruising both of my wrists, and yelling in my face, practically telling me that I'm going to kill my baby, which I won't. And, even though it isn't any of you're business, no, I haven't ever used, and obviously, I don't know how it feels, but I definitely know how it makes people act. I've witnessed that on several occasions. You're right, Edward, you really care about me, don't you!" I jerked my wrists out of his hands, and rubbed them softly, letting circulation back in my hand.

I purchased every thing else that I would need, and the other groceries we were in need of, and I checked out, and loaded them up in the car. I glanced up, and in the rear-view mirror, I could see Edward watching me, leaning against his car. He was shaking his head, and he was ringing his hands. I laughed softly, and jumped into my car, and drove home, taking all of my things, and running them up to my room, and then unloading the rest of the stuff so that Uncle Matt wouldn't find anything that he didn't think that was needed. I ran upstairs, and messaged Shay telling her that I was officially back in business.

She was so excited; she loved getting money for basically just handing people things.

When I heard Uncle Matt walk in the door, I started to make dinner, and I really didn't know what to make, so I just decided to make hamburgers.

I stood at the stove in cut-offs that people rarely saw me in, and I was flipping burgers at the stove, yelling back and forth with Uncle Matt, since he didn't want to miss any of the baseball game.

The doorbell rang, and I turned the burgers down a bit, and went to answer it. I smiled as soon as I opened the door, "Hey babe, what's up?"

Jake walked in the door, and breathed in deeply, "You're cooking? It's a good thing you're Uncle is a cop, he can get the paramedics in here quick of I get poisoned."

I smacked his chest lightly, "You've had my cooking before, and you loved it, so don't make any comments. Plus, I'm making hamburgers, and you can have cheese on yours if you want."

"Oh, I feel so honored now. I can have cheese. You hear that Matt! I can have cheese on my burger. I bet you can't have that special privilege."

Uncle Matt walked into the kitchen, and smiled, "Well, well, well, Bella. Are you treating you're baby's father differently than you're favorite uncle? Now, that isn't any fair. I want cheese too." He spoke the last sentence like a little child.

I laughed as I continued to prepare the burgers, and when I reached to grab something from the fridge, Uncle Matt saw the bruises on my wrists that Edward had left, and he looked at me sharply, "Bella, where did you get those? Jacob didn't do that to you, did he?" He started towards Jake menacingly.

I ran in between them, and put my hands on Uncle Matt's chest, and told him to calm down,

"Jake didn't do anything to me. It-it was Edward. He got angry with me at the store today. Everything is fine, we've got it settled, and there isn't anything to worry about." I hated to have to lie, but I couldn't tell my Uncle, who was a cop, the Police Chief at that, that I was selling and making drugs again.

"It is too something to worry about, he knows that you've been abused before, he shouldn't lay a hand on you in that way."

"Um, actually, he shouldn't lay a hand on her in any way." Jake chimed in quickly.

"Right. Why did he get mad, Bella?"

"He wants me to get rid of the baby. He doesn't think that I'm ready for a child."

"You're more ready than he is, that's for damn sure. I don't want you to talk to him anymore, Bella. If he's going to hurt you when he sees you, I don't want you around him, okay? Please?" Jacob said, coming over and putting his hands at my waist. I smiled, and draped my arms over his shoulders.

"I wasn't planning on talking to him at all during this whole year babe, but, he just keeps crawling back like some kind of beaten puppy. I don't see why. All he does is stuff like this-"and with that, I grabbed Jake's wrists, and Uncle Matt walked out of the room. I pulled Jake as close to me as was possible, and kissed him once on the lips, and turned and started making our burgers.

"Hmm, Edward has very good taste, hon."

I smiled and handed him Uncle Matt's and his plate, and I followed him into the living room carrying my half a burger, and a few fries.

Uncle Matt changed the channel to the newest episode of _Numbers_, which is a FBI show, where this math professor genius solves a lot of the cases they get using math algorithms, and all kinds of math stuff. We liked it because it was kind of funny, and had action in it. We watched it every Friday.

It was mostly a way for Jake and I to be together, and for Uncle Matt to see what we were like together. Uncle Matt trusted us completely. This was great, considering I didn't want to be dating my

Uncle as well as Jake. That would be a bit awkward.

Jake and I went up to my room, and we sat on my bed, and kind of looked at the TV, but mostly we just talked, and kissed.

**a/n: so guys, what do you think of edward's little breakdown (kind of) in the store? Review and tell me. Please tell me what you think of the options I told you guys about….Thanks!!! Love you guys a ton!!!!!!**


	14. NO MORE CHAPTERS

a/n: you know, I'm not going to post any more chapters until I get some reviews, so, you better give me reviews, people!!!!!!! Lol…..jk….kinda….well….not really, just give me at least ten reviews, it that really so hard?????? Thanks so much you guys!!!!


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